Somebody was describing some kind of food thing to Whitney. What she wanted to communicate was, “I can’t imagine what such a thing would taste like.” What came out was:
“I can’t tongue-see that.”
Feb
1
“I feel like I am going to beat you to death with the paper towel holder if you ever again use the last paper towel and don’t replace the roll. Notice how I’m using ‘I language’ in order to sound less threatening?”
–Whit
Mar
3
Me – I was antagonizing Whitney…squishing her by lying on top of her…when, out of nowhere, she looks into my eyes and says…
Whit – You know, you’re just like a snowman.
Cam – What could you POSSIBLY mean by that?
Whit – You go wherever the HECK you WANT!
I still have no idea what she meant. I love that mind, but I’m so glad I don’t ever have to visit it 🙂
Mar
3
So. Whit and I are watching Iron Chef America: Battle Coconut.
One of the judges says something like, “Wow. Sometimes food with coconut really tastes like sun-tan lotion, but this doesn’t at all.”
Another judge replies, “Yeah. The opposite, in fact.”
The both of us, wondering what the opposite of sun-tan lotion could POSSIBLY be, issue our responses. Whitney’s was, “Moon…pale…brick.”
Me – So. Moon, I get. Pale, I get. But the opposite of “lotion” is…?…
Whit – Brick. Moon pale brick.
That’s my baby!
May
20
Whitney:
I imagine this is what drug use is like
I’m pretty sure that I know
Now that I’ve itched my bug bites
Mar
22
Context:
(Rough-housing)
Cam: You will NEVER vanquish me!
Whit: I am going to vanquish the CRAP out of you!!!
Jan
11
Context:
Watching the Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Me: This doesn’t quite make sense.
Whit: You’re Being a boy all over this movie!
Nov
28
Context:
Getting into Ernie’s truck. It’s raining.
Ernie: Hey. I get to test out my new windshield wipers! (*turns them on*)
All of us: “Woooooooooowwwww.”
Whit: Y’know. Some things in life are just great. Like a good pair of windshield wipers!
Sep
22
Context:
Playing Catch Phrase. A game where you see a word and have to get your teammates to guess that word.
Whit: It’s what a monkey holds!
Team: Wha…???….??
Buzzer: EEEEEEEENNNNNNT
Whit: A pipe wrench!